Thursday, January 24, 2013

Missin' It

Today- I have really been missing it- missing this blog, missing sharing bits and pieces of my life with whoever feels inclined to take a peek, missing the creative outlet. But life has been hectic- and regardless of how much I want it to be less hectic- it seems to be steadily increasing- and as I've said in past years of keeping up this blog- somethings gotta give- and the things that's the first to go is this:(

SO- its been a while!! Thanks for sticking with see, when I started this blog I was a "a newly employed" mostly stay at home Mom-/working artist. Last fall I started back at my graduate school program (which i had begun before getting pregnant with child #1)- going part time but doing my graduate intersnhip at the same time- while balancing being the primary care giver to our two little ones- then 2 & 4, and working weekends (INSANE). The beginning of the summer was grueling while I took 4 classes- but I survived, and had a pretty peaceful fall- (thankfully) since I was adjusting to the routine of carting children to two different schools, activities, appointments, etc.

This is my FINAL semester of school!!! It's slightly surreal- I had my first class today- and while I find myself feeling even more overwhelmed and confused about where my life is headed- I feel like this class gave me some peace, somehow? I am taking 3 classes this final term- and finishing my masters thesis by May.

I WILL DO THIS- it's just the thinking about the process of going through it that seems slightly daunting at times. The biggest thing that's giving me anxiety/stress/obsessive thoughts right now is what the heck will I do when I finish??? How much do I want to work? How much do I need to work? What's best for me? What's best for my husband and children?

When I'm in classes I feel so excited about the field I have chosen (clinical art therapy)- I am so excited to be part of the helping field- and be a force in promoting change in our society (something I feel like we so desperately need) But then, I find myself questioning my ability to do both- to be a "good enough" mother, to be a loving, empathetic and supportive spouse (this is the hardest for me I think:( and to be a clinician. I am constantly working on my ability to compartmentalize these daunting tasks- and to somehow be "successful"- at least in my own mind at all of them- IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?

It will all work out in the end- and I will accept the journey
that lies before me.
This will be my mantra for the next 4 months!

While I have had a serious poverty of posts- I have been enjoying my new-to-me (but refurbished and only $50 iphone:)

Here is what we've been up can follow me on Instagram at 17hannahjane:)

Oh yeah...those are two hammocks! That's how we roll on weekends when Mommy doesn't have to go to work!! I got this idea, actually from the nurses in the NICU when Zella was there after her early birth. There was a baby next door to her that was born at something scary- like 26 weeks gestation- she had been there for literally 5 months and only weighed 10 lbs. The nurses made a hammock out of a sheet for her to lay in. We use queen sized flat sheets, tied to the upper bunk- the kids LOVE them- who wouldn't?!!

The children have occasionally been blessing us with breakfast in bed of late! It's hilarious- we are lazy when we actually have a morning that neither of us have to go anywhere- and we lay in bed while they run downstairs- and you hear a whole bunch of furniture shifting and cabinet opening and banging around- and then they appear with these lovely meals- mosly strng cheese and fruit that has been cut up mangled by child sized butter knives:) It's precious- proudness all around!

A fun family collage project. Zella was in artist heaven- and Mos is quite into honing his fine motor skills lately- so we had a blast- we are using gel medium to glue them onto a canvas board. With the insanely cold temps in CT lately we have a come up with a lot of projects to keep us busy!!

I have actually been doing a whole lotta cooking lately which has been nice (haven't taken many pictures) but have made a whole lotta great stuff- here's a list with links!

Cashew Caramel Corn (I used a dark chocolate for the drizzle)

Avocado Cream ( I made it with sauteed spicy tofu triangles- it would be an amazing dip- SO SO good!)

Roasted Chilli Cauliflower ( YUMMY- easy, healthy, spicy- totally delicious)

Brussels Sprouts Salad ( a winter staple hear since November- Ive been adding tart apple sto the mix- YUM)

Homemade Cinnamon Bread (great recipe- I omit the raisins- it's easy and makes 2 loafs- 1 for you and 1 for a friend:)

Make some yummy stuff- and check back in from time to time to see how I'm coping:) Hopefully I'll be back soon!


  1. You can do it :-) Power on through, its almost over!

  2. Your life continues to amaze me, but I'm now beginning to understand how it's possible to do so much. I've discovered a ridiculous reserve of energy and motivation since having Em. It's crazy! But, I also feel ya on questioning how well (or if it's possible at all) to balance it all in a way that feels okay. I'm so pumped for you though!! Graduation in T-minus 4 months! Hooray! Hang in there!! Your answers will come to you. One of my favorite mantras- "everything happens in the right way, at the right time." xoxo

  3. The pic of M bringing you breakfast in bed is too funny & cute. Lots of Love!

  4. Loved reading your post, Hannah! The field you are working towards is an incredible one, and it is wonderful to have such an inspiring profession to work towards in your last semester! I wish you the best of luck! I know you are going to do amazing things :)

  5. I was so happy to see a blog post :)! Z and Mo are are you!! Love you guys!