Missin' It

Today- I have really been missing it- missing this blog, missing sharing bits and pieces of my life with whoever feels inclined to take a peek, missing the creative outlet. But life has been hectic- and regardless of how much I want it to be less hectic- it seems to be steadily increasing- and as I've said in past years of keeping up this blog- somethings gotta give- and the things that's the first to go is this:(

SO- its been a while!! Thanks for sticking with me...you see, when I started this blog I was a "a newly employed" mostly stay at home Mom-/working artist. Last fall I started back at my graduate school program (which i had begun before getting pregnant with child #1)- going part time but doing my graduate intersnhip at the same time- while balancing being the primary care giver to our two little ones- then 2 & 4, and working weekends (INSANE). The beginning of the summer was grueling while I took 4 classes- but I survived, and had a pretty peaceful fall- (thankfully) since I was adjusting to the routine of carting children to two different schools, activities, appointments, etc.

This is my FINAL semester of school!!! It's slightly surreal- I had my first class today- and while I find myself feeling even more overwhelmed and confused about where my life is headed- I feel like this class gave me some peace, somehow? I am taking 3 classes this final term- and finishing my masters thesis by May.

I WILL DO THIS- it's just the thinking about the process of going through it that seems slightly daunting at times. The biggest thing that's giving me anxiety/stress/obsessive thoughts right now is what the heck will I do when I finish??? How much do I want to work? How much do I need to work? What's best for me? What's best for my husband and children?

When I'm in classes I feel so excited about the field I have chosen (clinical art therapy)- I am so excited to be part of the helping field- and be a force in promoting change in our society (something I feel like we so desperately need) But then, I find myself questioning my ability to do both- to be a "good enough" mother, to be a loving, empathetic and supportive spouse (this is the hardest for me I think:( and to be a clinician. I am constantly working on my ability to compartmentalize these daunting tasks- and to somehow be "successful"- at least in my own mind at all of them- IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?

It will all work out in the end- and I will accept the journey

that lies before me.

This will be my mantra for the next 4 months!

While I have had a serious poverty of posts- I have been enjoying my new-to-me (but refurbished and only $50 iphone:)

Here is what we've been up to...you can follow me on Instagram at 17hannahjane:)

Oh yeah...those are two hammocks! That's how we roll on weekends when Mommy doesn't have to go to work!! I got this idea, actually from the nurses in the NICU when Zella was there after her early birth. There was a baby next door to her that was born at something scary- like 26 weeks gestation- she had been there for literally 5 months and only weighed 10 lbs. The nurses made a hammock out of a sheet for her to lay in. We use queen sized flat sheets, tied to the upper bunk- the kids LOVE them- who wouldn't?!!

The children have occasionally been blessing us with breakfast in bed of late! It's hilarious- we are lazy when we actually have a morning that neither of us have to go anywhere- and we lay in bed while they run downstairs- and you hear a whole bunch of furniture shifting and cabinet opening and banging around- and then they appear with these lovely meals- mosly strng cheese and fruit that has been cut up mangled by child sized butter knives:) It's precious- proudness all around!

A fun family collage project. Zella was in artist heaven- and Mos is quite into honing his fine motor skills lately- so we had a blast- we are using gel medium to glue them onto a canvas board. With the insanely cold temps in CT lately we have a come up with a lot of projects to keep us busy!!

I have actually been doing a whole lotta cooking lately which has been nice (haven't taken many pictures) but have made a whole lotta great stuff- here's a list with links!

Cashew Caramel Corn (I used a dark chocolate for the drizzle)

Avocado Cream ( I made it with sauteed spicy tofu triangles- it would be an amazing dip- SO SO good!)

Roasted Chilli Cauliflower ( YUMMY- easy, healthy, spicy- totally delicious)

Brussels Sprouts Salad ( a winter staple hear since November- Ive been adding tart apple sto the mix- YUM)

Homemade Cinnamon Bread (great recipe- I omit the raisins- it's easy and makes 2 loafs- 1 for you and 1 for a friend:)

Make some yummy stuff- and check back in from time to time to see how I'm coping:) Hopefully I'll be back soon!